Friday, March 31, 2006

From the shame team...

If you look around we've changed some things. Ok, just one thing. The grass obscuring the view of our speedoed mascot has been trimmed up a bit, unlike his chest. Much more shameful.

Team Shame

Rice admits "thousands" of errors in Iraq

BLACKBURN (Reuters) - U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice accepted on Friday the United States had probably made thousands of errors in Iraq but defended the overall strategy of removing Saddam Hussein.

"Yes, I know we have made tactical errors, thousands of them," she said in answer to a question over whether lessons had been learned since the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in 2003.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Big & Tasty & Expensive...

PALMDALE, Calif. - Four burgers at his neighborhood Burger King cost George Beane a whopping $4,334.33.

Beane ordered two Whopper Jr.s and two Rodeo cheeseburgers when he pulled up to the drive-through window last Tuesday. The cashier, however, forgot that she'd entered the $4.33 charge on his debit card and punched in the numbers again without erasing the original ones — thus creating a four-figure bill.

The electronic charge went through to George and Pat Beane's Bank of America checking account and left the couple penniless.

Husbands gone wild...

(3/29/06) - James Wilson has been camping out on the roof of his home and calling himself "not only the CEO and director of the National Association of Desperate Husbands," but "also a card-carrying member." So what will it take to get the 33-year-old independent marketing consultant from Redford, Mich., to come back down?

"Well, it is going to take for my wife to finally give in and remove the children from our bedroom, put them in their rightful places, in their own bedroom," he said.

James Wilson and his wife, Valentina, have a 3-month-old daughter, Jayla, and a 2-year-old son, James III. Valentina Wilson says the children will remain sleeping in the marital bed for now.

"Wait until my daughter gets older and he can get the bedroom back to just us," she said.

James Wilson, who has been chronicling his woes on his website www.husbandonstrike.com, says the children are causing an intimacy issue, but his wife says that's not the case.

"We get all the intimacy we need, you know," Valentina Wilson said.

Valentina Wilson said she was prepared to let James stay up on the roof because she was confident that he would return home on his own.

"I think he will come around," she said. "It will get cold up there. He will miss us and will get hungry. He will come back home."

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Man's toddler son wanders into strip club

TULSA, Okla. - A Kansas man was arrested at a Tulsa strip club after police say his toddler son wandered from an unlocked car into the club over the weekend.

The toddler told police that his father told him to stay in the car, and that if he left it, "monsters would eat him," reports indicate.

A manager at the club had called police to report that about 30 minutes after Killion entered the club, a 3- to 4-year-old boy came inside looking for his father.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Oh...the Humanity!!!!

Robert Schuler defending his multi-million dollar “crystal cathedral.”

“We are trying to make a big, beautiful impression upon the affluent non-religious Americans who are riding by on this busy freeway. Its obvious that we are not trying to impress Christians!{…} Nor are we trying to impress the social workers in the County Welfare Department. They would tell us that we ought to be content to remain in the Orange Drive-In Theatre and give the money to feed the poor. But suppose we had given this money to feed the poor? What would we have today? We would still have hungry, poor people and God would not have this tremendous base of operations which He is using to inspire people to become more successful, more affluent, more generous, more genuinely unselfish in their giving of themselves.”

Bottomed Out

Man makes 3 photocopies of his buttocks

CLAYTON, Mo. — Police arrested a man who allegedly dropped his pants in the crowded lobby of the St. Louis County Courthouse and made photocopies of his buttocks. Police found Daniel Everett holding two copies he had already made. He was making a third. ''What did I do? What did I do?'' witnesses said Everett asked police. Everett, an immature 38, told police that the copies were intended as a practical joke for his girlfriend.

Have Baby, Won't Travel

Caught the train — but where’s the baby?
By MICHAEL W. KAHN - Associated Press


WASHINGTON (AP) — Commuters racing to catch the train typically forget things in the car — keys, wallets, briefcases. But a baby daughter?

“Dad forgot baby was in the car, parked the car, got on the Metro,” said Lucille Baur, a spokeswoman for the Montgomery County, Md., Police Department.

“I don’t know exactly when he got the memory flash, but he was in D.C. when it was the horrible defining moment, ‘Oh my goodness, I think I’ve left my child back in my car,”’ Baur said.

From the dept. of classic spirals...

ORLANDO, Fla. -- An agent with the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency was been suspended after video surfaced showing the man shooting himself during a gun safety class in front of a group of Orlando fourth-graders, according to Local 6 News.

An investigation has been launched to determine who leaked the home video of the undercover DEA agent shooting himself at an event sponsored by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association.

Before the shooting, the agent was videotaped talking about how certain weapons are popular with rap artists.

"This is a Glock 40," the agent said on the tape. "Fifty Cent, Too Short, all of them talk about a Glock 40, OK?," he said. "I'm the only one in this room professional enough that I know of to carry this Glock 40."

Seconds later, the agent shot himself in the foot.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

When Irish Eyes Aren't Smiling...

ST.PAT'S WHIZZER PICKS WRONG POTTY
Army captain relieved self into police car gas tank

MARCH 20--Meet Edward Cuebas. The 31-year-old Georgia man was arrested Friday afternoon for urinating in the gas tank of a marked Savannah police car during the city's rollicking St. Patrick's Day celebration. That's right, Cuebas, an Army captain, tried to top off the tank of a marked cruiser from the Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan Police, according to the below incident report. When officers in a second vehicle spotted Cuebas pressed against the patrol car, they called him over to their car. He responded by running away, while "simultaneously placing his penis back in his pants."

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Two creams, no sugar...

SENATOR ACCUSED OF HARASSMENT
3/22/2006 8:00 PM
Capital News 9 Web Staff

A New York State Senator is accused of harassing a staffer in her Albany office.

According to the Albany Times Union, Queens Democrat Ada Smith allegedly threw coffee in the staffers face, and pulled her hair.

New York State Police have confirmed that there is investigation into the allegations. Since it is an on-going investigation he could not comment or release any details.